On Tuesday January 11th, 2011, a total of a 133 parents, grandparents, childcare workers and teachers packed into the Seaside Centre to hear Kim John Payne’s lecture on “Simplicity Parenting”, sponsored by the Sun Haven Waldorf School. Payne gave profound statistics and powerful insights along with warm hearted encouragement and humor that opened hearts and portrayed endearing imagery in the minds of parents about the trials and tribulations of raising children. His talk on, why and how to simplify our children’s lives, began with the startling discovery he made on the correlation between children in Asian refugee camps and children in affluent Western countries displaying symptoms of Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Children in Western countries can experience the same level of stress as children in war struck countries by experiencing an accumulation of small stresses frequently, which he termed Cumulative Stress Reaction (CSR). These small stresses can lead children into various disorders such as ADD, ADHD and anxiousness, lack of empathy and impulse control. Children today experience “too much, too soon, too fast”, which Payne acutely pointed out is waging an undeclared war on childhood.
The good news however, as Payne pointed out, is that parents can give immediate relief from stress and restore our child’s childhood by simplifying their life. Simplification can happen in all of the following areas: the home environment, schedules, amount of exposure to adult information and conversation, screen time and introducing a simple and predictable rhythm in the family life which includes a balance of “down time” and family time that will help our children feel secure and connected.
Payne encouraged parents to allow their children to feel bored, as much of their daily life is filled with stimulation which does not allow them the space for boredom to move them into a place of genuine creative play. Children need this kind of “unstructured play” to process their daily experiences. Too much stimulation can cause sensory overload and lead them into a “Soul Fever”, as Payne termed it, meaning out of balance emotionally. Much like a physical fever as he explained, parents can nurture their children’s “Soul Fever”, by turning down the volume in their life, simplifying and staying close at hand until they have found their emotional footing again.
By simplifying, Payne said it not only reduces the stress level for our children but for parents as well, allowing them to reconnect with their children and family values. Payne stated that children who grow up in a strong family environment where the, “We”, is well rooted in genuine family values and rhythm will mature into a strong, “I”. As they move out into the world more independent and free this strong “I” makes them less susceptible to the negative influences in the world and better able to make healthier choices for themselves.
However, the lecture could not end without emphasizing the reality of raising children in a world that is media and screen hyped. Payne pointed out that we are the last generation to have experienced little to no “screen and media saturation” in our childhoods. He concluded the lecture by giving a startling report on what happens to the perceptions of children and the hemispheres in their brains when a child is over exposed to television and screens, especially while they are young. Most notably was that their empathetic responses were stunned and their reaction to stress became disproportionate, not to mention developmental delays on all levels. However, Payne assuredly stated that once their exposure is reduced their brain and emotional responses will rebalance into healthier functioning.
To conclude, Payne’s solution was, create peace in our homes and family life by simplifying. The stress is not all coming from “out there”. We can simplify and reduce the stress right in our own homes and daily life for our children. To finalize the evening Payne asked the audience, “Can anyone describe a golden moment from their childhood”. All those that responded, described simple moments while being in nature.
Kim John Payne’s book, “Simplicity Parenting” and all his CD’s are for sale at the Sun Haven Waldorf School and Bluewater Books. To join a Simplicity Parenting lead group contact Canteris Hartley at
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or visit www.simplicityparenting.com.
Testimonials
My son's love of nature has only grown since joining Sun Haven Waldorf School for Kindergarten in 2008. The fact that his sense of exploration of and curiosity about the natural world is not only encouraged, but appreciated by his classmates, only solidifies my resolve to expose him as long as possible to this education. We also appreciate tremendously the fact that the school celebrates so many festivals from so many cultures. And the fact the school is right across from the beach sure doesn't hurt! Waldorf education has been such a valuable experience for both my son and the entire family - we wouldn't have it an other way.
It was a huge leap of faith for us to switch from public school to a Waldorf School, but after having both of our daughters at Sun Haven for more than a full year we know we made the right choice. Our oldest daughter, Maggie, loves being part of a small class and feels that she’s part of a school community – both of these things have made a noticeable difference to her self confidence. Our youngest, Molly, came to the school brimming with self-confidence and we’re finding that it’s being channelled in a really positive way. Her natural creativity and energy isn’t being squashed - it’s being nurtured. These things matter a lot to us. We appreciate the way in which the Waldorf approach adapts to accommodate the individual strengths and personalities of our children.
Sun Haven Waldorf School has been very supportive of our family through the school's tuition adjustment program. I discovered the school when my family moved to the Sunshine Coast and at that time Sun Haven was not even on my radar, and I was not thinking about enrolling my children. Our goal was simply to get settled on the Coast and get our business transitioned from the city to the country. Once I discovered Sun Haven I knew it was an excellent fit for my children. The only challenge was that it was out of our budget at that time. I was happy to learn about the school's tuition adjustment program, and in turn was able to begin envisioning a Waldorf Education for my children. After receiving the reduced tuition for two years, and now that our family has better financial stability, we decided to give thanks to the school for their support, through a financial donation back. We could not have done it without this program. Thank you Sun Haven!
